Make America Wipe Again

from Crabcakes EP by Hullabalo0

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Taken from Holly Hamel's satire about the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020. "Angel Marie Sugarbaker" of Righteous Kingdom Broadcasting Network is hosting a Corona Christian Coalition Prayer Circle to discuss the dangers of The End of Times Toilet Attachment, the Bidet!

original:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtpGg9Fn2xo

Holly Hamel links:
linktr.ee/HollyHamel

lyrics

Hello and welcome to the Righteous Kingdom Broadcasting. My name is Angel Marie Sugarbaker and you're joining us in the Corona Christian Coalition Prayer Circle. Thanks for joining us friends. Y'all today we got to pray. We got to get our prayer warriors out here working on the front lines for this scourge that is sweeping the nation.
In this toilet paper shortage of 2020, something is infecting our homes faster than the Corona Virus, and this something is called a bidet. A bidet is a European contraption that advertises that it cleans your under biscuits but what it actual happening is it is defiling your soul.
I'm going to come right out and say it y'all. A bidet is a liquid form of masturbation and it is not Christian. It's not. It's not clean. It's most unholy. Friends.

We must stand up against Lucifer's liquid masturbation.

You know why they call.
You know why they call.

You know why they call a bathroom in Europe a Lu. It's short for Lucifer. You sit on that for a minute. Bidets are a fountain of fornication y'all and Grandmas are sitting on them. Children are sitting on them. This is Beelzebub's Bridge to your bottom my friends. You must rebuke this Satanic spritzer and make America wipe again!

You know why they call.
You know why they call.
You know why they call.
You know why they call.

Grandmas are sitting on them. Children are sitting on them. This is Beelzebub's Bridge to your bottom my friends. You must rebuke this Satanic spritzer and make America wipe again!

credits

from Crabcakes EP, released November 4, 2022
Holly Hamel

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Hullabalo0 Denver, Colorado

Just a bucha hullabaloo

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